Thursday, February 18, 2010

Put it on my tab...

Yesterday I did not treat others as I should. Not as spiritual beings, but objects to meet my needs. Hating myself, I lamented that I had let go of His hand, that the opportunity to love was not only spoiled - it was gone forever.

I wanted to shrink into a hole and hide myself, like Eve, once she had realized she was naked.

Then I looked up and noticed the title of a book on my shelf which I've never read, and which I only purchased because of its compelling title: "Paid in Full." A shock of thrill went through me... and my self-condemning thoughts were scattered like a flock of birds.

You are right, Heather, I thought, You can never get the moment back. But let the realization that you are a sinner through and through enlarge your humility without eroding your confidence. Let it inspire you to hide yourself in Him rather than the corner closet! After all, it is His broken flesh and spilt blood that have bridged the gap between you and God! It is because of Him that you can lift your head and go on into irresistible future, leaving the past behind.

"To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy- to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen." ~Jude 1.24-25

1 comment:

Judy said...

Heather -
How very interesting, as this is something I have found myself thinking on the last day. ("paid in full" - and "expanding my humilty, while not eroding my confidence)
My husband and I had a rare chance to sneak away for movie matinee. We went and saw "Avatar". Not my first choice, but who's to complain when you get to go on a suprise date with your husband?
I was captured by the main charactor, Jake.
I couldn't quite put my finger on it as to why I kept reviewing his journey, his choices, his experience. And then I read this blog post and it all made sense.
He approached each situation with such confidence, and confident humilty. Each step of the way, on some level, he had nothing to lose, as he was on borrowed time. He was not there by any of his own merrit, but because of what had been done by someone else.
I long to live in that place of "expanding humility without eroding confidence" ... and it is so much easier to do, when I go back to the truth that is HAS been "paid in FULL".

God is so good.